I Won't Say It
by Sakura the Lovely Kunoichi
Summary: Her heart had been broken too many times to count. He was determined to find all the pieces and put it back together. HidaSaku. Oneshot.


**Background: Sakura and Shikamaru have recently joined the Akatsuki as part of an infiltration mission. This will be explained in more detail in my larger fic, "Kiss the Girl". Shikamaru has been a member for four months, Sakura has been there for three.**

* * *

_No chance, no way  
__I won't say it, no, no  
__You swoon, you sigh  
__Why deny it, uh oh  
__It's too cliché  
__I won't say I'm in love_

"You lose," Shikamaru whispered, his nose just centimeters from Sakura's as he pinned her shoulders to the ground. His hair was partly out of the ponytail and was brushing against her cheeks. Her face was flushed from the fighting she'd just done; she was exhausted. She laughed.

"You cheated," she said back, and he smirked.

"You should have learned a while ago not to get distracted on the battlefield." She frowned.

"Yeah, well I think I have a right to stumble when you tell me that you're dying to have crazy hot sex with me." Shikamaru's eyes narrowed slightly, his lips forming a small smile.

"And if I really am?" And his lips pressed against hers gently and she arched her back slightly, leaning into the kiss as much as she could pinned to the ground. "Sakura, as much as I would love to continue this," he said, pushing himself to stand and offering his hand to her, "I don't think it would be right. I mean, we don't want to complicate things if it doesn't work out."

"Yeah," she said softly. She kissed the corner of his mouth before walking towards the building rather quickly, hiding the fact that she was blinking back tears. When she entered the kitchen, Hidan was the first one to notice her distressed state and immediately embraced her.

"What's wrong, Princess?" he asked quietly, glaring up at a guilty-looking Shikamaru who was walking into the room. His hand ran up and down her back comfortingly as she let out a long, shaky sob. "What did you do?" he mouthed towards the shadow user accusingly. Shikamaru looked at the ground, biting his cheek.

"I need to be alone," Sakura muttered, breaking free of Hidan's arms and jogging into the hallway that led to the separate bedrooms. Hidan put his hands on his hips, fully glaring at Shikamaru, who still refused to make eye contact.

"What the hell, Shikamaru?!" Hidan whispered loudly, not wanting the girl to hear him. "She looks like she just got her heart broken." When he was answered by silence, Hidan growled, walking over and pushing Shikamaru into the wall. "You're such a dumbass, you know that?" Shikamaru sighed.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "But it's better this w--"

"Dude, you just made her _cry_. I haven't seen her cry at all since she joined the Akatsuki a few months ago, and trust me, Deidara and I have definitely tried to get her to cry. You've done the impossible. Congratulations, dumbass." He huffed, turning around and heading towards Sakura's bedroom, fully intent on letting her cry on his shoulder.

And that's exactly what she did.

"Hidan, I just--" She buried her face into his neck. "I hate acting like this. Maybe I should go in and apologize to Shikama--" He cut her off, pushing her away so he could look her in the eyes.

"No. Fuck no. Don't go in there and apologize to him. It's his damn fault." And he smirked at her slightly surprised expression that looked so cute paired with her watery eyes and pouted lips. He took her hands in his as they sat on the bed, facing each other. "He's the one who needs to apologize to you." And suddenly his voice was quieter, "You didn't do anything wrong, Princess." And one hand moved up her arm and behind her neck. Her eyes widened slightly as he leaned forward, and his nose was next to hers at his next statement. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now." He could feel her breath on his lips, and it was sheer willpower keeping him from taking her lips with his own. "But I won't because I don't want to take advantage of a broken heart."

The fingers of one of her hands ghosted over his collarbone, hovering over his necklace as she met his eyes. "You're a better person than you let on," she whispered, smiling. "Don't let Shikamaru's mistake hold you back." And that was all he needed as he tilted his head and claimed her lips softly. It quickly became heated as his tongue ran across her lips and then across the roof of her mouth, and she was gripping his cloak as she tried to deepen the kiss.

His fingers ran up and down her arm tenderly -- a reassurance that he wasn't going to take advantage of her -- before freeing her lips from his. She was in his lap, her chest moving up and down in rhythm to her heavy breathing. "My Jashin, you're gorgeous, Sakura." And she didn't even notice that he called her by her name, as a bright blush covered the greater part of her face. "Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise."

"Hidan," she said, sighing. "My forehead is huge, I'm as short as a genin, and I'm as flat-chested as I was when I was thirteen." He took her chin in his hand, kissing her once more.

"Not everyone can be perfect," he whispered. "It's the flaws that make you beautiful." They both looked up at a knock at the door.

"Sakura, are you… alright?" Shikamaru's voice asked hesitantly. Hidan tensed. Sakura put a finger to her lips. "Look, I'm sorry I did what I did. I never expected it to even go that far. I stopped it because… because I didn't want it to ruin our friendship, but I'm afraid that I might have done it anyways without even realizing it." Sakura smiled at Hidan.

"That's nice and all, but I'm not in the mood to accept apologies," she said, extremely glad that Hidan had locked the door. "I just want to be alone right now." And the shuffling of feet signaled Shikamaru's departure, and Hidan laughed softly before kissing Sakura again.

"Cute _and_ smart," he muttered against her lips. And she pushed him away, tears brimming in her eyes once again as she looked straight into his.

"Hidan, I've had my heart broken too many times to count," she said softly. "Shikamaru was… nice about it. One of three who let me go with a kind word and a good reason." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't want my heart bro--" And he kissed her deeper than he ever had before, reluctantly releasing her from his hold.

"I'm trying to heal your heart, not break it again," he said. "If it doesn't work out, that's fine by me. But can we at least… try?" And she smiled, resting her forehead against his.

"Thank you, Hidan," she whispered, and he smiled back.

* * *

It was a shock to everyone the next morning when Sakura was up at a decent hour, helping Hidan make the coffee. But not everyone was up at the same time. Itachi was the first one to make his way into the kitchen, but instead of announcing his arrival like every other morning, he just leaned in the doorframe, watching the pink-haired kunoichi and the silver-haired criminal prepare breakfast.

He smirked when Sakura lost her grip on the filters and they separated, floating to the ground without a care in the world. She only laughed and knelt down, picking them up one by one. He saw Hidan's sarcastic grin as he, too, knelt to the ground and helped her. Itachi's face faltered when the Jashin worshiper leaned forward and stole a kiss from the girl who erupted into a fit of giggles at the action.

Kisame walked in at this particular moment and, in seeing the interaction, grinned like a madman. "It's about freakin' time she realized that Shikamaru was a lost cause." Itachi gave a small nod in agreement before walking into the kitchen.

Shikamaru was the last one to wake up and avoided eye contact with Hidan and Sakura, instead focusing on Kisame who, to his surprise, was frowning at him. "Good morning…?" he said reluctantly, and Kisame's arms crossed over his chest.

"If you _ever _hurt Sakura again, you're gonna get the brunt of Samehada."

"And I'll blow you to smithereens," Deidara added.

"But not before I get to mess with your mind," Itachi finished. Shikamaru sighed.

"Point taken," he replied, knowing that his little fiasco wasn't a secret anymore. He hid his face with his arms, resting on the table. Sakura cast a wary glance in Shikamaru's direction before excusing herself quietly and leaving. Hidan sighed sharply, excusing himself as well before taking off after her. Three pairs of eyes burned holes into Shikamaru's head.

"I need a vacation," she said when Hidan wrapped his arms around her waist. "I can't be around him right now. I still… I still… I'm sorry, Hidan." He kissed the top of her head.

"Listen, Princess, I'm here so you have someone to talk to and open up to," he said. "The last thing I'm expecting is for you to love me back." She looked up at him in shock. "I'm just trying to help you get over Shikamaru." He tilted her chin and kissed her softly. "Go chill out in your room. If anything comes up, I'll let you know, okay?" And he turned back towards the kitchen, and she opened the door to her bedroom.

"What's up?" Deidara asked as soon as Hidan returned. A pointed glare in Shikamaru's direction answered the question. Hidan slapped the back of his head and he looked up in annoyance.

"You idiot," Hidan said ominously. "She's still fucking in love with you! I'm trying the best I can to heal her, but you're still ripping her in half!" Shikamaru stood up only to have a kunai pressed to the back of his neck. "If you go near her, I'll fucking kill you."

"Hidan, stop acting so rash," Itachi sighed. Hidan was furious.

"Hell no. She's trying to get over this bastard, and him being around her isn't going to help at all." Shikamaru sat back down, stirring his coffee with a spoon and trying to clear his mind. He hadn't thought Sakura had _loved_ him. Maybe if they had still been in Konoha, it might have worked out, but…

"Oh, Hidan," Deidara mocked. "You're so chivalrous, defending your girlfriend!" The snappy retort Shikamaru expected from Hidan never came, and he turned to the sadist in disbelief.

"You didn't…" he breathed, and Hidan's smug grin appeared.

"Your loss, Shikamaru," he replied. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to her. I'm just being there to help her get over you. She'll give me the boot as soon as she's feeling herself again." And Shikamaru groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"You see, Hidan, that's the thing about Sakura. Do you know why she's gotten her heart broken so many times?" He looked up. "She won't break up with you. _You_ have to let _her_ go. She's too compassionate to break _your_ heart."

"_The last thing I'm expecting is for you to love me back." Love me back… …love me…_

"Dammit!" Hidan said, slamming his fist on the table. "I didn't want it to happen this way. I'm just trying to help her."

"And in turn you're making it worse," Kisame finished.

"Hidan…" a meek voice said from the hallway, and all eyes turned to Sakura, wide eyes and quivering lower lip. Hidan closed his eyes and held his breath. How much had she heard? "I need to… talk to you about something." And Hidan cast the rest of the guys a glance before walking towards Sakura, who took his hand and pulled him to her room, shutting the door and locking it.

"What's wrong, Princess?" She covered her face in her hands, sighing before she let her arms fall to her sides. She looked straight at him.

"Can I trust you? Really, truly trust you?" And he blinked. "I'm trying to figure out whether or not I want to tell you this, because no matter what it will change the way you look at me." He put his hands on her shoulders.

"You can trust me, Sakura. With _anything_." She swallowed, avoiding his eyes.

"I…" She was having problems speaking. "I… I'm a spy." He just stared at her, and she closed her eyes, waiting for him to -- what? Hit her? Kill her?

"And? You act like I give a damn." He could literally see the relief wash over her features. "I told you that you could trust me. I'm not going to tell anybody, okay? This is between you and me, and I'm guessing Shikamaru's in on it as well." Her eyes widened.

"Please don't tell him that I told you!" And he chuckled, kissing her cheek.

"Of course not," he said. "You'll soon come to find out that everybody joined the Akatsuki for their own personal agenda. I did. Itachi did. So did you. We just happen to be working together to help Leader-sama's personal agenda." She laughed, hugging his neck happily.

"Thank you, Hidan!" And he knew that she meant it with every fiber of her being, and that made him smile. Then she moved in front of his face, her expression saddened. "Please tell me if you honestly think we should end this, because I'm afraid I might fall in too deep. I promise I won't hold it against you. I just… need to know."

"Do _you_ want this?" he asked, his eyes widening when she kissed him wholeheartedly, moving so that she was straddling his lap, her fingers tugging slightly on his hair.

"Yes," she answered. He ran a finger down her cheek, a small smile playing his lips. "More than you'll ever know." And he kissed her back just as fiercely, neither of them paying attention to the knocking at the door.

A few minutes later she found herself resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "What're you thinking about, Princess?" She looked up at him.

"I think if my heart is broken one more time, it will be beyond repair." And he kissed her head.

"I won't break your heart, Sakura," he whispered. "I promise."

Deidara grinned on the other side of the door and Kisame pumped his fist in the air.

_At least out loud  
__I won't say I'm in love_


End file.
